I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
