Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
