I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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