Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You can't just leave with hair like that
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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