the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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