I'm drive I can fine osifer
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
