i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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