Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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