I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize