I don't remember. Are we still dating?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize