he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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