I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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