from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
