I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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