My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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