I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
