No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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