Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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