Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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