This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize