I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
