There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
