he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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