I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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