The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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