i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
