I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
