If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
