UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize