she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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