Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
