I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just want nice things and good sex
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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