is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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