I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
