Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
