Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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