i think my tv is drunk
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
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I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
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I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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