I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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