He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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