i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
