wakey wakey hands off snakey
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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