they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
