It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
