what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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