so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize