I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
the raccoons are back...
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