As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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