He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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