you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
