I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
