very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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