ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
