Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
