well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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