I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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