the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
