So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
