Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
When did angry sex become our thing?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
