Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
