Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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