Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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