Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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