why didn't you poke me back
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I've blown a few things in my day
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
