she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize