I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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