marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
